THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO CAN STAND NEXT TO BEYONCE AND STILL BE THE MOST FABULOUS PERSON IN THE ROOM
(Source: lizlemonism)
my friend used to wonder whether someone bringing a flame thrower to school would be considered a firedrill or a lockdown so one time I asked the principle and then I had to go see a guidance counselor even though I was just pointing out a very big discrepency in their security
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
iamjacks-completelack-ofsurprise:
Will Smith embarrassing Jaden has got to be one of my all time favorite things
why do seagulls fly over the sea
because if they fly over bays they would be baygels
So I started working on letters to people
then iw as like nah this is too much work at lunch today.
AND JUST AS I MADE THAT DECISION
the girl who sits next to me peeks at my notebook and iw as like
fuck
now i have to write them
because she knows.
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
